Hunt Brothers Pizza

Just think of all the names that come to mind when you think of fine Italian cuisine: Olive Garden, Ragu, Chef Boyardee, Papa John's, and Prego.  Now you can add one more to that list of legends.  Located just steps away from the entrance to the Patch Express (nee Patch Shoppette) is Hunt Brothers Pizza. 

Look!  It's the Shopp... Express. 
Notice the itty bitty sign for Hunts on the far left under the awning.

Now one would think with a name like Hunt Brothers that this would be awesome pizza.  I mean just think, the second most popular ketchup in the ENTIRE GODDAMN WORLD is made by a company called Hunts.  I'm not sure if this is the same company that makes that slightly less delectable than Heinz condiment is the very same one that makes this pizza, and I could Google it I suppose, but I'm too lazy.  The logo looks different on the box so we'll just chalk that one up as a "no." 

Upon entering the Patch Express, you will notice directly in front of you the pizza stand.  There was a very disinterested looking employee working behind the counter.  She didn't really do anything or provide any service that I could see, because all the pizza and wings  already in a warming display case.  The menu is printed nicely and quite legible just above where you take your food.  The picture is kind of blurry because I am really shitty at taking pictures. Sorry.  

Ooh, pizza display

I selected the cheese pizza and the buffalo wings.  I placed them on the counter and approached the aforementioned disinterested employee about paying for the pizza.  At this point I was instructed that I should take it to the cash register where I would normally buy gas and/or cigarettes.  I felt silly and uninformed, but I laughed coyly and went on my way. 

The next thing I noticed about the place is the large selection of beverages, snack items, alcohol and basic toiletries.  This is a nice bonus for those that want a coffee or Diet Dr. Pepper or wine cooler or can of skoal or tampons to go with their pizza and wings. This is a nice bonus.

I waited in line for what seemed like an eternity for some Lt. Col. to buy his gas.  I asked the cashier, Bob if I could take his picture for my new blog and he told me no.  He actually said I can go fuck myself, but I'm not really sure what he meant by that. 

After I paid, I found myself looking for a place to sit and eat my pizza and wings.  I was a bit disappointed to find that there were in fact no tables. I thought it best not to ask Bob again where I could eat.  I decided to go back to my desk at work and eat.  Here's what the pizza and wings look like:

I'm not allowed to bring my phone into work so I just put them on the ground and took a picture. After I got back to my desk I thought about it again and regretted not opening the boxes first so you could see it.  The wings are hard to see with the glare but what can I say? I'm a shitty photographer. 

So how does it taste you ask?  Well, compared to the "pizza" they serve at the movie theatre, it's a giant step up.  Is it as good as Little Caesar's?  No.  Does it do the trick when you're hungry? Yes.  The wings are not actually wings, but more like chicken nuggets with red food coloring on them and a list of ingredients a mile long.  They are actually spicy if you're German.  But if you're shopping at the Express then you're probably not a German, unless you're eine Dependa, then it which case, watch out meine Freunde!

Obligatory shot of me